So today I want to write a little appreciation note. It’s been a journey so far for me and I’m glad to go on it with all of you. When I started this blog, trust me I didn’t think I’d get anyone’s interest whatsoever. It was more like an “it’s worth the try thingy”. I want to appreciate everyone who has been constant support to my blog, people who read it, leave out reviews, like my blog, follow my blog and take their time to tell other people about it. I’m so privileged to have you all honestly. I can’t just get enough of you guys because you all have been a form of support and push for me.
The journey hasn’t been easy trust me. I’ve been discouraged along the way. Sometimes I feel maybe I’m not good enough or maybe I’m not just the girl for this. But one thing the past years have thought me is to keep going, and never look back, to embrace criticism and mold it into something better for myself. It’s not easy and I don’t intend to lie about the fact that most times, I just want to stop, give up and let go.
Thank you for everything, thank you for the support and prayers from my family, loved ones, and friends, even those I don’t know. I’m happy to make new connections with people all over the world. It’s a privilege trust me.
Consistency isn’t easy but it’s achievable. That’s what I want to bring to the table. More content that is edifying, positive, helpful, Interactive, interesting, breathtaking, and encouraging.
Thank you for engaging and thank you for making Kams Cottage a reality.
It’s always a pleasure to share these pages with like-minded people. I’m excited to Introduce some amazing guest writers here to share their wisdom with my readers. We have THE.INTROVERTED_SHE🦋, JAHZ_RHYTHM, MANDY, and my humble self, KAMS COTTAGE. When they accepted my invitation to share their wisdom with y’all I was thrilled and believe me, you will be too. There’s just so much to learn and trust me it’s worth your time.
KAMS COTTAGE
Romeo and Juliet have always been one of the couples used to set standards for relationship and intimacy, you know that Euphoria that just engulfs every part of you. Honestly, there’s a lot more to relationships than just romance, fairy tale and movie-inspired expectations. Relationships are unique to each partner. You can’t use that of other couples to set standards for yours. What works for them won’t work for you. A relationship isn’t about having another person complete you but coming to the relationship whole and sharing your life interdependently. By letting go of the romantic idea of merging and becoming “one“, you learn as Rainer Maria Rilke says, to love the distance in a relationship as much as the togetherness.
JAHZ_RHYTHM
Truly, It is something to write about – how strangers become lovers and lovers strangers. Don’t you find it intriguing how strange people meet for the first time and get sparks or connections, some even fall in love but sometimes, those feelings don’t last and that person you thought was the only one that could make you laugh can also make you cry. People get into relationships expecting much more love than they receive but some fail to put in the effort needed. This is why getting into a relationship shouldn’t be based on some momentary feeling or vibe. Relationship of any kind requires effort. You have to put in the work. If you don’t feel like you’d be able to do that, then there’s no need to get into one. You don’t get into a relationship just because you are bored or lonely or missing an ex. If you want excitement, hit the gym, go swimming, go sky diving and all of that. We shouldn’t be breaking hearts like it is some cheap cookie. Intentionality cannot be taken away from relationships. Every successful marriage heard of has had to deal with issues at some point. The success of a marriage is hinged on two people who know they love each other and have decided to commit their love to this person even through dark times and moments. Somewhere in our heads, Mr. or Ms Right is some perfect person with no flaws and that’s why at little conflicts, we want to opt-out and run away to find another Ms Or Mr flawless perhaps. This is where we miss it. It’s not a thing of looking for someone else when challenges pop up, It’s facing challenges – both of you working on yourselves, your characters, understanding your love language and speaking it. I believe love is a driving force cause without the presence of love, you wouldn’t see the need to build a future with them. You would just keep chilling and selfishly getting whatever you feel you get from each other and that’s chaotic. The whole lovey-dovey feeling can be overwhelming. That’s why the phrase “love is blind” is used a lot. When you are in love, the butterflies are still young and active, forgiveness is easy and you just want to spend the rest of your life with them without thinking well or doing the necessary research. Be wise about your decisions even though some things we tag as red flags are not necessarily red flags. You could be all in, putting in all the effort and your partner is giving you some vibe that doesn’t match your energy. The first thing to do is communicate. Of course, you can’t eliminate communication with words when speaking of any kind of relationship – so, it is vital to communicate your feelings and opinions with your partner. If the relationship was built on the same foundation, you would see them put in the effort to be better. Yelling, slamming doors, and giving attitude are listed among the most misunderstood forms of communication. Confronting situations up front with a lower voice tone has proven over time to be more effective in communicating. You also should be able to accept your partner’s confrontations and not think you are right all the time. People are scared to do this. So any form of conflict becomes a red flag when it is something that could be worked on as long as both parties are in agreement. Even though love and relationship cannot be solved with a straight-line map, some principles have worked over time and have kept couples happy and satisfied with their marriage when there will always be conflicts in a relationship. If the relationship has been defined, an effort is being made, communication and patience are there. If your partner still doesn’t care about how you feel, for the sake of your happiness, that person might not be the best for you. I’m not saying you can’t change anybody, but there are some traits that you know you got to have in a person like do they love God, are they teachable, humble (cause pride don’t go easy), are they compliant, do they respect your opinion, do they respect people? Are they ambitious? These will help you know if you both can work together. Statistics showed that people who had a higher level of character development were happier couples from the beginning of the relationship. Work on yourself first before trying to fix another person. And don’t get into a relationship hoping to be a baby project. One of you is going to get drained. We often have expectations from our partners that we are not willing to work on the same things for ourselves, and then they become the bad person. Iron sharpens iron. Know your worth too and don’t pick people out of pity for yourself. Low self-esteem has made people do things they are not meant to do and they will stay in abusive relationships, relationships that don’t grow them or make them better people cause they don’t know their value.
the.intoverted_she🦋
“Love is the most beautiful thing when it happens to you unexpectedly but it never gets real until you do it on purpose”
Once upon a time, I used to get a lot of attention from guys, I didn’t understand why and it annoyed me so much. I used to hear a lot of “I love you’s” and even though I didn’t know what it was then, I knew they never meant it. I could look each guy in the face and tell him “you don’t know what you’re saying.”
Have you ever been in love? I have. And I know very well how things could go when one party decides they don’t want to work for it.
I’m probably the biggest hopeless romantic I know. I believe that you can have the “fiction kind” of romance. Where the man is the sweetest human to exist, both of you serenade each other with words and actions and the purest heartfelt gestures that just continuously remind you of how much you love and are loved. I’m big on romance, and when I say romance, I mean ROMANCE.
I’m a believer so I’ll never be able to separate the two — that is my faith and romance. I mean, King Solomon did talk about romance in the bible so it’s no sin. There’s just context.
You lots probably believe romance isn’t complete without sex but I beg to differ. Romance — intimacy — is so much more than just skin against skin. It’s that song that reminds you of your partner’s smile. It’s in the scent that reminds you of their favourite outfit. It’s in that food that you only eat because it reminds you of your partner. It’s in the little texts you leave each other in between work just so you both feel included in your day. It’s in that movie that you two have named yourselves because of the day you watched it. It’s in the favourite spot you two share because it reminds you of when you caught yourself tripping.
It’s In the way you look at each across the room and carry each other in your hearts and actions because it’s such an honour to have your own. It’s that pride in your tone when you get the slightest opportunity to brag about how wonderful your partner is as a human and even to you.
I could go on forever. Love is commitment. It’s more than the initial tickly feelings that make you want to curl up on your bed and hug a pillow all day. To love is to commit. Intimacy is built in the place of wanting to remain committed. And the best part? None of it happens until you make the conscious decision to work on it. So many people fancy the idea of love without realizing that even when you are head over heels in love, without effort, without deliberately showing up every day, you’re not going to have anything to hold on to.
The one minute you decide to stop being deliberate is the very minute the whole thing crumbles to the ground. It’s why I’d like to say that “soul mate” is a myth. If you find someone that you think is THE one and you don’t show up, that person is just going to keep moving ahead until they find the one who’s willing to make it work.
Human beings are social animals. We exist to socialize. It’s okay to admit that you crave companionship, we were built that way. Now, you’d be an arrogant fool to want to deny that. But also, if you want it, you have to be willing to work for it. For most people, these days, if you take out the sex and physical touch, there’s nothing left to name as intimacy.
Don’t you think there’s something off about that?
KAMS COTTAGE
Honestly, I agree with the.introverted_she🦋 on this one, you know the intentionality to make it work. Intimacy isn’t always about sex. The basis of your relationship shouldn’t be laid on sex. So does it mean without sex, the relationship goes sour and dies off? There are a lot of ways to create intimacy, find pure love and be truly happy in your relationship, but I’ll just list five. One thing is to be in a relationship and it’s another thing to be happy in that relationship.
1. See your partner for who he or she is: most times we set our expectations and standards of our partners whom we are in love with, with what they have come to represent. The truth is, at the beginning of a relationship, both parties are trying to impress the other. They are not who they are at the eclipse of the relationship. When you realise that more often than not you don’t know your partner, you begin to discover who they are and how they change and evolve.
2. Be willing to learn from each other: the key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person. Rather than get upset or point fingers, try to be calm. Understand and observe them. Remain awake to what has yet to be healed in each other
3. Be comfortable being alone: I know how hard this part is trust me but in other to accept the fact that love can’t rescue you from being alone, learn to spend time being with yourself. You must not be with each other 24/7. You both have a life to live outside yourselves, come on! You must not text or call every single day. By doing so, you feel safer and secure being on your own within the framework of your relationship.
4. Let go of expectations: this cannot be overemphasised. You may look to things such as romance and togetherness to fill a void in yourself. This will cause you suffering trust me. If you unconsciously expect to receive love in certain ways from your partner, you’ll be so disappointed and you’ll end up putting your sense of security in him/her. Draw upon your inner resources to offer love, attention and nurturance to yourself when you need it then you can let the love come to you instead of putting expectations on what it needs to look like.
5. Effective communication: just like Jahz_rhythm mentioned earlier, communication and not just communication but Effective communication helps grease the wheels of relationships, it helps strengthen respect for each other. People are emphatic. They can understand on a very subtle level when something is wrong. It takes misunderstandings away and builds trust as well.
MANDY
Have you ever thought that you may be the reason why your partner is acting up? You may say “that’s ridiculous! I’m the perfect partner, but maybe you’re not focusing on little factors that go a long way. The emotional perspective of your partner either the male or the female on things differs. There are certain things you do that deem normal, but your partner hates them.
To be very honest, lack of attention is one of the major reasons for quarrels and disagreements in relationships. Your partner wants attention from you, and most times it’s always the women seeking that attention but men crave attention too. Your partner may love you to frequently call, text, go on dates, hang out and the rest of them. But here’s the big question. How long do you stay on the call? What do you guys talk about? Are you patient enough to listen to his/her rambles? Do you forget any little detail he/she tells you? Do you rather do other stuff than spend quality time with your partner??!
In a long-distance relationship where you don’t see each other often, try to keep up the communication at least daily. A call or even a romantic text in the middle of a workday goes a long way in building intimacy in your relationship.
KAMS COTTAGE
Honestly, there are a lot of things to be said in relationships from different angles. We’ll get to have more deep discussions like this on them from time to time. I’m super happy and personally had a lot of fun doing this with our guest writers, and look forward to doing this again with them. Do drop a comment on ways you think can help build relationships and intimacy.
Don’t spend so much time trying to be physically attractive just to impress your partner. Instead, work on being mentally attractive. Educate yourself, address your recurring toxic thoughts, deal with your insecurities and learn to be happy on your own.
Normalise saying “NO” without having to over-explain yourself. If someone is offended by your boundaries, that’s their problem, not yours. The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinion of you. Don’t subscribe to other people’s definition of “FUN”. FUN is yours, create and define it.
Before you get married, discuss bills, parenting styles, credit, debts, how to deal with family, what beliefs should be instilled in your kids, childhood traumas, sexual expectations, partner expectations, financial expectations, family health history, career and education, political views and whatever deems important. Love is not enough!
Heal before having kids so your kids don’t have to heal from having you as a parent.
Ever wondered what role the media has to play in our day-to-day lives? Let’s start by first knowing what the media means.
What is the media?
The term media, which is the plural of medium, refers to the communication channels through which we disseminate information like news, music, movies, education, promotional messages and other data. It includes physical and online newspapers and magazines, television, radio, billboards, telephone, the Internet, fax and billboards.
Everything ranging from a telephone call to the evening news on television can be called media. The media can be categorised into two main parts which are the broadcast media and the print media.
The broadcast media
The broadcast media ranges from Radio and television which have been in existence since the 20th-century respectively. Now, this tv and radio only get better with technology. We have coloured TVs now other than the regular back and white back in time. We have radios even on our smartphones… Life only got better and it’s not long before the internet takes over, say some sources, that’s if it’s not happening already.
The print media
Print Media includes all types of publications, including newspapers, journals, magazines, books and reports. It is the oldest type, and despite suffering since the emergence of the Internet, is still used by a major proportion of the population.
Why is the media important
The media has so much importance trust me. One that has made life a lot easier. The media keep everyone updated about the happening around us and in the world at large. It’s the best medium to reach a mass audience all at once. A vast majority of people, all across the world, rely upon various sources of media for keeping themselves updated on various ongoing issues around the world. Media plays an important role for the whole society.
1. It plays a constructive role in society by raising awareness. Presently, there are many examples of social issues that have been raised by the media. When the media presents and unveils such issues, the public becomes aware and the necessary steps are taken for resolving those issues!
2. Media ignites awareness in us by providing information and knowledge. It does not enforce its own opinion on us but provides facts, figures and news to us so that we can analyze the information and understand it as well.
3. Any live event happening right now can be watched anywhere. For example, the FIFA World Cup, a political address by a PM, live coverage of areas affected by floods or just any other incident or natural disaster, helps us see the true picture by providing LIVE or recorded telecasts for almost all important events. Amazing right?
4. One of the most important roles of media is to educate society. We can explore and analyze various product reviews, do price comparisons for various items, and read news about politics, fashion, war, weather, health and much more with the help of the media. It also educates people about their rights and duties and helps enforce the law as well.
There are a lot more important roles the media plays in our lives, community, society, country and world at large. And for that, we appreciate the media for making life a lot more Informative
You can write the importance of the media in your own opinion right down in the comment section. Thank you for joining me again.
When we say we would love life less scripted, what do we mean? It differs for each person you know.
How would you feel to live a free and less burdensome life? A life where you can do whatever you want. No authorities over you, nobody to tell you to do this and do that. Nobody dictates what you should have and not have. A life with less pressure and more peace. A life where you can make your money without so much demand. Maybe money should have seasons when it should grow. Then you’d just have to wait each season for each currency. Maybe the rainy season would yield Dollars, then the dry season Naira, Autumn pounds and winter Kuwait.
Life would be a lot easier. You eat whatever you want, no government to dictate anything for you. Parents don’t tell you what to do.
Well as good as that can sound, it wouldn’t be much fun. If money could grow on trees then it wouldn’t have value anymore. If there weren’t any good (emphasis on good) government, I guess they’d be chaos, a lot of bad decisions, and peoples’ opinions wouldn’t matter ‘cos everyone just does their own thing. If parents wouldn’t scold you or tell you what to do then you grow up stupid. If you could make money without working for it that’s good tho but it wouldn’t show any responsibilities on your part.
But all the same, everyone has a different opinion. This is what I think and more. I feel like without these certain factors, life would be boring and disorganised, no fun and tiring.
But rather maybe a little bit of healthy freedom would do. Making the right decisions, acknowledging some important facts, working for your own money, and letting certain personalities in your life that could help your growth. To me, that’s the perfect definition of a life less scripted.
I know how demanding it can be to be extra careful with our underwear, especially with females who are more prone to infections than males. So here are 5 helpful tips to take care of your underwear.
Always wash your underwear; How often should you wash your underwear? Your underwear should be washed after every use. Because your underwear comes in contact with your skin, sweat and discharge from you know, down there. Washing them immediately after every use keeps them squeaky clean and smelling fresh.
Do not repeat the same underwear too many times; This may sound unimportant but to help make your underwear last longer and reduce tears, avoid wearing the same underwear too many times, especially your tights.
Separate the darker colours from the lighter ones; Most times we think underwear with darker colours don’t bleach but hey! It’s hard to tell sometimes. Always separate the dark-coloured underwear from the light-coloured ones while washing and also while storing them in your closets or bags.
Wash by hand; Sometimes we feel too tired to wash our underwear by hand and so toss them along with our clothes in the washing machine. It is preferable to wash your underwear by hand to prolong their lifetime. Washing machines can tear and affect the fitting of your underwear negatively.
Fold your underwear; This may sound funny but folding your underwear will prolong its lifetime. Just stacking them in a closet or squeezing them in a bag can affect their fitting negatively.
A clean and hygienic underwear is one of the keys to a healthy body. Take good care of your underwear today.
Ever thought of some attractive ways to put your kids’ toys away? Check out these handy tips and ideas to aid you organize the kids’ toys and create more space in your home.
Pair Similar toys together in a place: Kids are very smart and learn very fast. It may surprise you how your kids notice where each pair of like toys are kept. Gather similar toys together and put them in a place. For example, putting the dolls and teddy together, trains, cars, trucks and its like together. Just like that till each similar toy is put neatly together in a place. This way, it makes cleaning easier and fun for you and your kids and also helps your kids know where each toy goes. Depending on the size and layout of your home, you can decide to have a whole room dedicated to your kids’ toys and even preferably converted to their playroom.
Minimise the number of toys you buy for your kids: This trick works every single time. The fewer toys available, the less mess created. Curb the number of toys your kids have access to play with and thank me later. Here are ways to minimise toys: • Buy fewer toys for your kids • Do away with damaged and broken toys • Give out toys no longer in use but in good condition.
Invest in Furniture and toy storage facilities: There are very attractive, cute and stylish ways to organise and put your kids toys away. Consider investing in getting a shelf built and painted in lovely colours and stack your kids’ toys neatly in them. Remember, put the same toys together. You can also get a basket or a bin too and trust me this is another cute way to put toys away. You can put toys like building blocks in the basket or bin. Always remember, the fewer toys available, the less mass created.
So there you have it, some cute tips to help organize your kids’ toys and reduce the amount of mess made. Have fun organizing now!
KAMS' COTTAGE 